physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
