Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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