Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
