it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
