so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
