your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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