Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
