Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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