Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I cannot find my penis.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Randomize
