We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
