"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
