somebody snuck up and got me drunk
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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