mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
