i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize