oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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