He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
