Plan B is the new Plan A
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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