What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
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