She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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