i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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