i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
