Sry I called you an 8
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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