i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Screwed.edu
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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