Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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