I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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