I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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