you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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