Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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