My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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