it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
