hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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