And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
