I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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