How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
