guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
