CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i will never coherently bang her
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
