____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
