Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
