You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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