Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
