You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize