(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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