btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
