have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
