Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
