He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You were trust falling into bushes
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize