so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
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So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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