I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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