HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
