Will you blow on my dice?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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