Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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