Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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