he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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