i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Randomize