dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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