ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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