What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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