I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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