Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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