walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
