Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize