I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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