Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
