She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
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Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
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My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize