the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
